Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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