I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
