tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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