Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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