Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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