I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
