No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
