She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
