so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
