D3 body, D1 cock
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
