I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
