it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
