so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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