I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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