I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize