Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I could fuck to npr.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my liver is dry heaving
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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