well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
two words...techno handjob
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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