I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
