when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The air was thick with penises
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
