ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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