So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
