hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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