her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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