I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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