So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize