Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
