Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize