I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
