go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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