Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
