Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
