Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
