so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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