i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
