And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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