i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
