She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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