hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
