i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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