I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize