Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize