My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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