You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
