i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
