I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
