I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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