I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize