Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
