okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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