It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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