I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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