Just cropdusted the office
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
