Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
