yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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