I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize