Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
