Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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