Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
