He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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