Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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